The way I talk to myself has been changing,
and I’ve started noticing it
in the middle of my days.

It shows up in quiet ways.

Journaling wasn’t always a part of my life.

It came into existence during a time
when I was trying to find my words again
one at a time.

I remember what that felt like…
searching, reaching,
sometimes not knowing
if the word would come at all.

Writing wasn’t about putting thoughts together back then.

It was about holding onto a single word
long enough to get it down…
and then trying for another.

Somewhere along the way,
it began to change.

What started as a struggle
slowly turned into something
I could return to.

Now it holds everything—
my emotions,
my challenges,
my accomplishments,
and my achievements.

Some days,
it becomes a place
to sort through what I’m feeling.

Other days,
it turns into something creative,
even a story.

I didn’t plan for it to become this.

Looking back,
I can see that it became
one of the ways
I started talking to myself again.

There are other moments too.

When things feel heavy,
I slow myself down
and focus on my breathing.

Taking it one breath at a time
helps me settle enough
to move through it.

When my mind feels busy,
I find myself walking,
letting the movement
carry some of that noise
until it begins to quiet.

The lighter moments
feel different now.

Instead of rushing past them,
I notice them.

Nature has a way of pulling me in
during those times,
and I’ve learned
to let myself stay there
a little longer.

When I need to focus,
I turn to my mixed media art.

It draws me in without pressure,
and before I realize it,
time has passed.

Positivity has become something
I choose more intentionally.

The way I speak to myself,
the reminders I keep around me…
they all play a part.

I’m also learning to notice
the way I speak to myself
on the days
when I don’t follow through
the way I hoped I would.

Those moments still weigh on me sometimes,
but I’m beginning to understand
they don’t erase
all the progress I’ve already made,
something I reflected on more deeply
in When I Don’t Follow Through.

Negativity feels different now too.

Instead of holding onto it,
I’ve learned
it’s okay to step away from it.

There are simple things
that still bring comfort.

Old comedy shows
still make me laugh,
even after all these years.

Drawing has found its way back,
especially in the form of trees.

And writing…
something I once struggled to reach…
is here again.

When I step back
and look at all of this,
I see something
I didn’t fully recognize before.

This is how I talk to myself now.

Not with pressure.

Not with harshness.

But through the way
I move through my days…
the choices I make…
and the space I give myself
to feel,
to create,
and to keep going.

And maybe this is part of
how learning to trust myself again.