Since that walk on Sunday…
a lot has happened.
My days have felt mixed with emotions.
It feels like a tug-of-war on my soul…
being pulled from one side to the other.
Do I stay where I’ve been—
because I know what to expect…
Or do I step forward
and reconnect with who I once was?
None of this feels easy.
But somewhere in all of it…
something became clear.
I found what I had been searching for.
And it was me.
The real me.
That’s not an easy thing to find…
especially after spending so much time
doing what was expected.
Moving through life
in ways that no longer felt fully my own.
Little by little,
pieces of me faded quietly into the background.
Nothing dramatic.
Nothing sudden.
Just a slow drifting away
that I didn’t fully recognize
until I started looking again.
That kind of realization
takes soul searching.
Honest soul searching.
Learning to see the good in myself again…
while also recognizing
where I lost pieces of myself along the way.
None of that is easy either.
But it feels real.
And maybe necessary.
Because I can’t reconnect with myself
without being willing to see all of it—
the parts that feel strong…
and the parts that still need care.
So now,
I’m making a different choice.
Not loudly.
Not dramatically.
Just quietly…
in the way I move through my days.
Choosing more carefully
what deserves my energy.
Listening more closely
to what feels right.
Allowing myself to step forward
even when it feels unfamiliar.
There were also moments during healing
when stepping away from overwhelming situations
became part of protecting my peace,
something I shared more deeply
in When I Choose to Walk Away.
I don’t have all the answers.
And I’m still finding my footing in some of this.
What surprised me was realizing that reconnecting with myself wasn’t happening through one single moment.
It was showing up in small ways.
Healing I hadn’t fully noticed.
Unexpected moments of joy.
A sense that I was becoming myself again.
I reflected on that more in Catching Up With Myself, where I looked back and realized how much had been unfolding while I was busy living it.
But one thing feels different now…
I’m no longer searching outside myself
to figure out where I belong.
Because somewhere along the way…
I started feeling it again.
And maybe it was there
all along.
