There was a time I walked away
because my brain couldn’t keep up
with what was happening around me.

After my stroke…

it wasn’t that I couldn’t hear.

I could hear everything.

That was the problem.

My brain couldn’t take what it was hearing
and put it in order.

It couldn’t move from one moment
to the next in a way that made sense.

Something as simple as sitting in a restaurant
became overwhelming in ways
I never understood before.

I would walk in…

and even the lighting would feel different.

My brain would question it—

What’s going on with the light?

Following the waitress to the table
wasn’t automatic.

She would be talking…

and I would be trying to follow her words
while also watching where I was stepping
just to sit down.

Then the menu.

Trying to read it.

Trying to remember
which foods were safe
and which ones weren’t.

And all around me…

everything else kept happening.

The table next to me
loud enough to hear…

but not making sense.

Glasses clinking.
Voices shifting.
Orders being corrected.

And somewhere in the middle of all of that…

I was trying to remember
what I was going to order.

Then the question would come:

“How was your day?”

And for a long time…

I answered with one word.

Not because I wanted to—

but because it was all I can manage.

It wasn’t just a conversation.

It was everything at once.

One moment running into the next…
before I had time to understand
what had just happened.

And that was scary.

There were times
I wondered if this was how life
was going to be now.

So I walked away.

Not always physically…

but mentally.

Quietly.

Because that was how I protected myself.

But now…

walking away feels different.

It’s no longer about confusion.

It’s no longer about not understanding.

Now…

it’s a choice.

A quiet awareness
that lets me feel
when something isn’t right.

When my peace is being interrupted.

When I’ve reached my limit.

And instead of pushing through
just to keep up

I allow myself
to step away.

Not because I can’t handle it…

but because I understand
what I need.

And that…

is very different
from where I started.